When I think back to almost two years ago, I am amazed at how far I have come emotionally, physically, and mentally. It was January of 2007 that I decided something had to be done about my ever-growing clothing size. When it came down to it, it was more than just worrying about my weight, it was my mental health and my physical health that was suffering. Now, with some of the muscle weight that I have gained back, my total weight loss hovers somewhere between 60 and 70 pounds. At one point, I nearly hit a total of 80 pounds shed. I would still like to get closer to that, and if I keep up this cardio/running detail, I am sure that will take care of itself. Even now, my clothes are hanging off me despite the fact that the scale says they should be tight.
My point? Well, this week has been one of the more difficult ones, not too sure why. My legs feel tired, even with the low mileage that the week has brought. When I step on the treadmill each and every day, I think to myself and say to my running partner "please let my legs carry me to the end, today. I don't feel it!" Yesterday, I posted a great time - shocked as I was! Today, I allowed myself to run slow. I admit that I was disappointed with my time, but impressed that I fought off the urge to race myself and post another best time. Sometimes, it is good to go slower, at least that is what I am telling myself as I write this.
Still, my point? I remember in our early days of deciding if we were really going to go through with this crazy plan, Kari said to me "...are you serious? You lost 70 pounds. If you can do that, this marathon will be cake." (or something along those lines) I use those words to motivate me. It is about that time again for me to post one of my sentimental posts, right? I think about how hard it was sometimes to constantly watch what went into my mouth. I think about how exhausting it was, particularly in the early days of my eating plan, to constantly think and rethink about food. And, as I am typing this.....I still think that it was harder to lose 70 pounds than anything I have done thus far in my marathon training. So, as I head to bed after a difficult day on the treadmill, I am proud of myself for doing the hard work two years ago so I can do the fun work today. I will not lose sight of that important message, tonight or in the next few months - especially when I don't feel particularly motivated to run.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
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Well, are you talkin to me! I too am on that road. I had lost and now gained. I am hoping that this bought of strep/flu can kick my ass into getting into shape. I so need it. Asking my friends for their "Fat clothes" is no fun and damn it, I have to do something about it. I am thinking if Laura can do it, so can I and she is even going to run a marathon too. You rock Laura! You keep running and writing and I'll start losing....Again!
ReplyDeleteAhh ... those days when you REALLY don't want to do it. Often they turn out to be the best. You really think you can't, like a reverse "Little Engine...", but you do. It's surprising and satisfying.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was doing ten milers working up to marathon length I used to do this "you've got the lungs, you've got the legs, you can do it chant for about the first two miles. Somehow I got there.
Maybe that will work getting my self into the cold of Lake George on Saturday.
And here is why I love this blog! I will not only keep running and writing but YOU'LL start losing, Beck. Maybe we will all come up with our own "Little Engine that Could" cheer because I know my lungs are there, I know my legs are there - and they always over-power my mind especially when it isn't there. Funny how that works! Thanks, all, for the satisfying comments to my post.
ReplyDeleteI think chants and mantras are good. I read once about a girl who used to repeat "FIGHTER! FIGHTER! FIGHTER!" during her runs when her legs were saying "no way" so now I do, too... Also I had a big weight gain/loss about 10 years ago (50+ lb)... believe me, you never go back up as high as you came down. It all evens out and then you're even tougher for it. Go, Beck, Go Laura, thanks Anonymous! You jump in that Lake George and Fight, baby!
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